Mehnnn, I’m getting old. I cannot believe it, but my immediate younger brother brought a girl home last week, and officially introduced her to my mum. My jaw almost dropped. Is this how I’m going to remain in this house, and two years later, my younger brother would get married and leave me alone here? I mean, I remember the silly boy with catarrh running down his nose, and him running around naked when my mum was using cane to pursue him. And now, what do we have?
As for the girl herself, she seems pleasant enough. Even though she wasn’t, what can I do? I’m not the type to give her a hard time. We’ve never had a daughter or sister in law in my house before, so I don’t how we would or wouldn’t respond to her. As for my sister, with all her drama, I doubt she has time for treating in-laws badly. She probably would faint from shock that my brother has a girlfriend, talk less of him bringing the girl home.
So in the spirit of ‘do unto others what you would want done unto you,’ I decided to be friendly with her. To quickly describe her, she’s average height, light, very very nice skin. She wears glasses, which I’m not yet sure if it’s prescribed, or just for fashion. She looks simple enough, but you can tell that she is heavily into all the foreign human hair that costs a lot. I don’t know how she affords them, since she’s a student of one of eastern universities’ satellite campuses outside Lagos. She is in her early twenties.
At a time when she and I were alone in the sitting room, she looked intently at my hair, and said “So you are with all these team natural.” I was quite taken aback, and didn’t like such a description or labelling.
I immediately faked a smile and said “No, I’m not team natural. I’m team healthy hair.”
I can assure you, this girl scoffed and said again “What's team healthy hair? See your hair. You are team natural.”
By this time, I was pissed. “Because I have natural hair? I’m sorry, I’m not into teams. I just like good hair.”
I saw a disdainful look in her eye, concerning my hair, but I decided not to count it against her. I just felt she’s a small girl, who is not mature enough to know how to be diplomatic. I won’t let Satan use her against me.
Before the girl left our house that day, she made sure we exchanged numbers, but I decided to maintain my space, and watch her from a distance before deciding what kind of relationship we can have.
Three days later, early in the morning, around 7.30am, I receive a whatsapp message on my phone.
“Hey team natural. It’s me [name]. How is everything going with you?”Arrrgghhh, this girl doesn’t listen. Is my brother going to break up with someone before I end up in jail for second degree murder or what?