Monday, 16 February 2015

Diary of an Honest Naturalista: Week 89


Wonders shall never end! I think the sky has fallen. My sister, of all human beings existing in the whole wide world, is thinking of going natural. When she told me, I almost choked on an evil laughter. After all she had put me through. In that moment, I instantly wished I could be a hair legislator, so I could put a lifetime ban on some people, never to go natural. Honestly, some people are just unnecessarily mean to ladies with natural hair, and my sister had become the definition of meanness, after which comes Madam Adams, before the period she went natural. You see, why they should never be allowed?

I honestly think that nice comment from a stranger at the mall about Boma’s hair really got to her. Since then, her attitude towards natural hair gradually softened. And now, we have this newly repentant sister.

The first time she told me she was thinking of going natural, I didn’t even act like I heard her. Instead, I assumed she was about to start her mean remarks. The second and third time, it was the same thing.

So I received a call on my phone. Seeing her caller ID, I picked uninterestedly. “Hello.”

“Hi Anna.”

Hmm, this one that she was sounding nice, I began to have my suspicions. “Is Boma alright?”

“Why are you asking about Boma? You haven’t even asked about me.” She said sweetly.

I began to get scared, she was getting too nice for comfort. “Okay, so I am suspecting you. What is the matter?”

“I am cutting my hair tomorrow. I’m finally going natural.” She exploded.

“Whattt?” I screamed.

Minion What?
Source
“Why are you screaming? I have been telling you for some time now.”

“Me, when? You never told me anything.” I fired back.

“Anna, I have been telling you. I guess your ears were too blocked too hear a word.”

There goes the sister I know. Now, I can rest well assured that her soul wasn’t kidnapped and mistakenly replaced with that of an angelic being. “So what do you want me to do?”

“I want you to teach me all you know, and be my coach.” She toggled back to the sweet mode.

I thought about all she had done to me. never! “Ask Boma. She will teach you.”

“Are you insane? She is barely three years old.”

“But she knows more about natural hair than you. Or don’t you remember three months ago, when for the umpteenth time, you threatened to relax her hair, and this child cried her eyes out. Well, that’s telling you something you don’t know.” I fired. I was really enjoying myself at my sister’s expense, and I was enjoying myself.

“Anna, I am serious jo. I need you to teach me.” she bushed my remarks aside. “I really need coaching.”

“Okay, I will give you one website like that. go there, and read their FAQs. You will get all the answers you need.”

“You mean I have to read? Am I taking a course?”

I sighed. “Yes, you have to read. And yes, you are taking a course. It is called Natural hair 101.”

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7 comments :

  1. yassssss!!!!!!!!! finally.. but you do realize that now you have to coach your SISTER... just as a precaution i will advice you to learn to keep calm lol.
    also why did you guys change the color, but its cute tho i like green

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We had to change to our new brand colour. Glad you like it.

      Delete
  2. When my sister(s) went natural, there was no conversation. I just thought they were being more conscious of healthy hair, and the next thing was BOOM - they were natural.

    Berry Dakara Blog

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    Replies
    1. Hi Berry I have a question for you why is there a divide among naturalists with the relaxed and the naturals is the goal not meant to be to have good health hair ? I'm tired of having to explain my hair people (who think my hair is like pillow )

      Delete
    2. @ Berry: They need no one's permission jare.

      @ Oreoluwa: Don't worry. People always view things through their own spectacles. If they have a skewed vision, the problem is not with you, but their orientation.

      Delete
  3. I love that Gif! ( ok I love the minions).
    Anna please help her, abeg.
    I had that look on my face very recently. My friend, the one most unlikely to go natural decided to transition and started with a very drastic cut from a robust APL to neck length. I'm observing.

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    Replies
    1. I love the GIF too. The slanted lips of the minion is just classic.

      Just dey observe your friend o, lol.

      Delete

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