On my way home from church on Sunday, I was in a public transport with peace, a younger girl of about 21 years old. She has had to work with me in church, on different occasions, and really looks up to me. She had one long cheap weave on her head, but underneath she had natural hair. Peace’s hair is really full, and beautiful, when exposed. I meat peace over 4 years ago, and she has gone back to relaxers hair twice in those four years, although she is fully natural now, and has been for over a year. She grew up in Deeper Life church, and when she became an independent teen, she started relaxing her hair. She didn’t like it, and went back to being natural, before succumbing twice.
Peace is always looking at my hair, telling me how beautiful it is, how courageous I am, and how people are always pestering her to relax her hair. Peace has a very brash nature, and used to be really rude in the past, so she just tells them off. She confided in me that many times, the pressure and comments about her hair get to her, and I believe this is one of the reasons she went back to relaxers previously.
Her typical conversation with me is like…
“Aunty Anna, this your hair is fine o.” She starts.
“Thanks.” I reply.
“I did this type of hair too last week. Yours is really fine sha.”
“Wow, are you serious? That’s great.”
Let’s just say she’s always looking at my hair, and staring in awe, even though she has beautiful hair herself. I wonder why she has recently been covering it up, despite the fact that she’s madly in love with natural hair.
So on our way back home, after I paid her transport fair, she asked me a surprising question which I was shocked was coming from her.
“But Aunty Anna, why don’t you want to relax your hair?” She started.
I was too shocked to control my reply. “What do you mean by why don’t I want to relax my hair? Why should I relax my hair?” I retorted.
“I just want to know why you don’t want to relax your hair.” She fired back.
I was exasperated.
“Because people just relax their hair. That’s the normal thing.”
At this point I said. “We should be asking people why they relax their hair, not people coming to ask me why I don’t relax my hair. This is my hair, this is how it looks. No one should come and ask me why I am keeping my hair the way it is. Ask them why they are relaxing their hair.”
At this time, Peace just looked at me, and got quiet.
I think she got the point, and I suspect she would be using that line when next she gets asked the question she threw at me. I just pray she’s not rude about it, cos she can be very brash.
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