Monday, 28 January 2013

“You are not Natural Compliant”


One day, after uploading a picture of mine as my BB Display Picture, a former classmate of mine sent me a message saying “Do you know that if you really want to go into natural beauty thing, you shouldn’t be using makeup.” I was really surprised about that statement, because I have never given anyone the impression that I was into natural beauty. I instantly told her that I was not into natural beauty or anything, since I use creams with chemicals on my skin, rather than Shea butter and herbs. I told her my business is natural hair, not natural look, because the next thing I know, she would say I should stop wearing earrings, so I could comply with the naturalness. The funny thing is that I don’t use a lot of makeup, so it’s not like I was looking like a painted masquerade. In fact, the picture in question is the picture where I was wearing a purple ankara jacket in this particular post. I in-turn pointed out the fact that she also uses powder and lip gloss when her lips are dry.

It took another dimension about two weeks later. There was a very harsh harmattan weather in Lagos the week before Christmas. I did not see it coming, so I did not step up my moisture level. This made my hair detangling very difficult. In the end, I lost a lot of hair while washing. I was so sad, and decided to put my hair in kinky braids till the harmattan goes, in order to prevent further damage. A week later, I uploaded the pictures below on my phone.



And then what happened, my friend pinged me again. She asked if it was my hair 100%. I told her I had to add a little kinky attachment that weekend because the weather was tearing my hair into pieces. She said I should have done the twist without attachment, since she thought I was “Natural Compliant”. At this point, I was really confused. What exactly is the meaning of ‘Natural Compliant’? What are the boundaries, who makes the rules of what being Natural Compliant is, when does one stop being Natural Compliant, etc.? So, does the fact that I added a little kinky extension to my hair mean I am no more natural?

I just told her that my hair normally is always in twists, even when the weather dealt with it, and it needed extra protection at that time because it still broke, and that using kinky extensions doesn’t mean you are not ‘Natural Compliant’ since it doesn’t alter the texture of your hair. And then she gave me a sarcastic reply like “Yeah- protect your hair by doing tiny weaves ‘with your hair’ or ‘with attachment’,” to which I replied that I was trying to protect my ends at that time. The conversation ended there, and I was happy about the fact that I didn’t have to lash out or ignore her, because I was tempted to do just that.

So people, what do you think? What is the meaning of being ‘Natural Compliant’, does using extensions or make up stop us from being natural, or do you think some people are just taking things too far?

24 comments :

  1. Funny. The way people react to our choice to keep our hair natural. Someone asked me the other day why I wear a wig if I do not like relaxed hair. I told I did not like my hair relaxed and wearing a wig was my way of protecting my hair(which remains natural,whether I wear wig or not). Really, I think the problem with people like that is ignorance?

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    1. I think another way to put their problem is that of perception.

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  2. Your "friend" is a CERTIFIED JOKER! Oh and I mean it in the nicest possible way... NOT!

    *rolls eyes*

    http://berrydakara.blogspot.com
    http://ajebutternysc.blogspot.com

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    Replies
    1. Loooolll. Thanks for being gentle on her.

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  3. This your friend has beef with your hair o, since she has made herself your police over whether you wear make-up of use hair extensions. Which one is her own sef? Who even came up with the word "Natural Compliant"? People just like to place things in boxes and categories. Why can't people be allowed to do whatever suits them without the stereotypes?

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    Replies
    1. Lol. I don't think she's beefing. I think she's very closed-minded, and likes to place things in boxes and categories, like you stated.

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  4. Does this your friend ever complement you when you put up your natural hair pics

    Ill just say she sounds bitter or maybe jealous.

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    Replies
    1. Funny enuf, she compliments me sometimes, but always adds a negative caveat to her compliment, like "Your hair is nice, but I don't think people can take this to work."

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  5. LOL!!!

    is this your friend natural?

    i think she is just trying to get on your nerves...don't let her.

    i dunno what natural compliant means

    people and their definitions...phew!

    next time make it about her...she would most likely disappear fast...

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    1. Yes o, she is natural, completely natural. Natural all her life, the church kind of natural. I am sure you know what I am talking about.

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    2. ahhhh why didn't u say that one before....phew!!!

      i know her type o...in fact no need to comment again...

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  6. People and their ignorance.
    I have to say that you handled the situation very well.By the way,if you did not say that you added extensions to your hair, I would have thought that it was all yours.

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    Replies
    1. Lol. My hair texture would not let my hair look that long when I twist it. I have like 70% shrinkage.

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  7. Your friend is dodgy and a bit nasty. What's with the beef and sarcasm? It's your hair not hers.

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    Replies
    1. Her comments can be 'somehow' at times, but I am used to it by now.

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  8. That is why when I stopped relaxing my hair, I warned every body never to try to put me in the natural box, my dear, you haven't even heard anything. Just take a trip around YouTube and you'll be amazed how people will try to conform you to something you have no idea of, just because you made a decision to care for your hair

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    Replies
    1. True. Everyone has the right to an opinion, but shouldn't force it on people.

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  9. Some people just like to antagonize. They're not even interested in your explanations or becoming enlightened by them, they just want to have a bone to pick with anything you do.

    I always say that I didn't break out of the box by becoming natural to then become restricted by new boxes. Makes no sense.

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    Replies
    1. I like your perspective. People are fond of building boxes around things, and not let it take a life of its own.

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  10. SHe's your friend you say? OK. I no get strength o, luckily I don't have hair police on my case.

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  11. Don't mind her jare, i call people like her "kill-joy". I would have rudely ended the conversation if i were in your shoes. I no too get patience for people like that.

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    Replies
    1. Lol. We have to learn to handle different people and their mindset

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  12. lol, this is why I prefer to use the term "Afro" hair as oppose to Natural Hair. I think the problem is most people still are confused with the definition of natural hair. My mom once asked me why I was using shampoos and conditioner in my hair when it has chemicals and why I was going to braid my hair, when I said i was going to keep my hair natural. I was so so baffled with the question that I just ignored them, since I didn't even know how to answer. I think your friend might as well walk around naked and grow her own foods, to be 100% natural! lol. I know her kind of Natural sha.

    ReplyDelete

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